Thursday, October 5, 2000

Eclectic local inventor ready to paint the town
By Bill Whitaker

If fortune were truly smiling on Earl Mackey III, the sinewy, upbeat West Texan’s latest, newfangled invention might’ve debuted in time for another few months of ungodly hot weather.

But there’s always next summer.

The local roughneck-turned-Thomas Alva Edison insists he’s come up with a “formula” that not only “greens up” one’s brown, parched lawn but also exterminates six-legged pests, seals in any available moisture and prevents forest fires — or, at least, grass fires on the homefront.

And, yes, the reason it makes your lawn look vibrant again is because, among other things, this formula includes green paint.

“It’s kind of like Kentucky Fried Chicken,” Mackey, 45, told me on one of our last torrid days of summer. “It’s a secret recipe, but I can tell you it’s got a pesticide in it, a weed-be-gone, a fire retardant and, of course, latex exterior paint.

“I’ve been experimenting with it a month now. And, well, you can see the grass growing right through it. And if you look around the yard where I’ve been experimenting, you’ll see there’s no fire ants, no weeds.

“And that big rain we had a few weeks ago? Didn’t affect it at all!”

Leave it to Mackey. No matter what fate throws his way, the resourceful oil-field roughneck employs his working-man ingenuity and tries to build something useful out of it.

When the oil bust left him out of work in the mid-1980s, he hatched the idea of building “cactus patch people” out of area cacti, complete with hats, mustaches and tiny eyeballs. Local ranchers were happy to furnish him with all the cacti he needed, too.

For a while Mackey marketed his potted “cactus people” to a major retailer. What’s more, he sold bumper stickers boasting, “I’m Stickin’ With Texas,” and donated proceeds to Goodwill Industries and Meals on Wheels.

Certainly, Mackey “stuck” with Texas when many others abandoned it.

Mackey has come up with yet other nifty creations, including a “screaming bullet” he patented a few years ago. When triggered and loaded into a firearm, it lets out an ear-piercing shriek if a child picks it up.

By the way, he’s heard of those desperate characters who give up and just paint their lawns. But Mackey insists the formula he’s come up with is different.

“They’re just putting down enamel paint and killing their yards,” he said. “What I’m using is latex so the grass roots are still protected.”

Once he got done laughing about Mackey’s latest marvel, Howard Kelley, assistant manager of Garden Place, conceded he wasn’t sure how grass would fare under such conditions.

“I mean, I’ve heard people joke about painting their lawns, but I’ve never actually seen it,” Kelley said. “Now, once we were out edging the yard of this lady who’d used paint thinner to kill weeds. We all got pretty intoxicated.”

Meanwhile, Mackey says he’s available for hire at 691-5937. So far, he’s tested his formula on property owned by his girlfriend.

“When her mom saw it,” Mackey said, “she accused her of over-watering!”

Contact associate editor Bill Whitaker at 676-6732 or whitakerb@abinews.com. Check out Bill’s previous columns at www.brazosbill.com.