Monday, February 23, 1998

Texas oilmen still bedeviled by J.R. Ewing stereotype

By Bill Whitaker

Ask anyone at the ongoing West Central Texas Oil & Gas Association conclave about fabled oilman and Texas wheeler-dealer J.R. Ewing and they're sure to groan.

Or cry.

Or curse.

"Dallas" may have won millions of fans worldwide during its prime-time run and even later in syndication, but the TV series' most popular character - diabolical J.R. Ewing, played by Texas-reared actor Larry Hagman - remains a sore point for real oilmen, especially after all the hard times the oil patch has suffered.

"We've contended for years that that show and trading oil and gas futures on the New York Mercantile Exchange have done more harm to the oil business than anything else," said Morris Burns, who recently stepped down as the Abilene-based WeCTOGA executive vice president. "J.R. was the stereotypical oilman, and before that it was the movie 'Giant,' and in it we're always dastardly villains," he said. "What's funny is Larry Hagman is actually a great philanthropist. But I understand from his show - and I've never seen it - that he's quite a villain."

One finds, then, a certain irony in Larry Hagman's recent visit to Abilene. The man whose finest role bedeviled the oil industry made town just a week or so before every self-respecting oilman in this stretch of Texas arrived to discuss industry hopes.

JUST ASK J.R.

Hagman says he understands full well the plight of Texas oilmen.

During his successful visit to help Serenity House, a growing drug and alcohol treatment facility based in Abilene, he admitted he still meets people who assume, deep down, he's evil and crafty and up to no good.

"It's only the dumb ones, though," he said. "They kind of treat me like J.R., with a sort of quasi-respect and hatred. But most people know the difference."

Even so, the global oil industry has occasionally embraced J.R., more for his bravado and outrageousness and sly wit than any oily villainy. Hagman, 67, a genuinely friendly, easy-going fellow, says he remembers how, in 1991, he happened to be in Vienna the very same time an OPEC meeting was under way.

Upon discovering Hagman was in Vienna, Texas Railroad Commissioner Bob Krueger invited Hagman to the conclave where the actor quickly found himself surrounded by admirers from afar, including a fair number of very impressed Arab oil ministers.

"They asked me to get up and say a few words and there was a round of applause from a couple hundred of these guys, Arabs and Nigerians and people like that, and they were very respectful to me. And they asked me, 'What do you think the price of oil should be at, Mr. Hagman?'

"I said, 'Well, I think it should be at $36 a barrel, that sounds good to me.' Well, the place fell apart. They yelled and hollered and screamed and said, 'Wonderful! That guy knows what he's talking about!' Well, I'd had a scene in 'Dallas' the week before where $36 was established and everybody seemed happy with it. So I just drew from a script by somebody who didn't know anything about the oil business anyhow!"

Epilogue: After Hagman's "joke" with oil ministers made the news, he got hate mail from fellow Americans fearful his comments might prompt higher prices at the gas pump.

REAL-LIFE DALLAS

Whatever oilmen think (and most can separate J.R. from Hagman nicely), the lanky, good-humored actor says he got his inspiration for J.R. from a real-life oil dynasty in Weatherford that his attorney-father served decades ago. The dynasty was headed by a patriarch who might well have modeled for Jock Ewing.

"But when the old guy who headed the family died, all four sons started grabbing for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow," Hagman said. "Well, the one who came out with it was the oldest and smartest and toughest. It was that infrastructure fighting that I based J.R. Ewing on."

For the record, Hagman did his share of investing in the oil business. In fact, he says he invested and lost $3 million in the oil patch before all was said and gone.

Although "Dallas" is no longer on network TV, Bill Core, incoming WeCTOGA president, says J.R.'s shadow still falls on the oil industry.

"I'm not so sure it's dissipated entirely," Core said. "If you're not connected with this industry, some people know only what they get from the media and television. Some people know us only for, say, Jack Grimm or J.R. Ewing, and that's something we can either admire or criticize."

FACTORY PRICES

Hagman admits J.R.'s presence can be shattering, and not just on the oil industry and rival networks. He remembers the time, during the period "Dallas" was riding high in the ratings, he visited the famed Waterford Crystal factory in Ireland.

"I had always admired Waterford but could never afford it before," the actor said. "Well, every 10 feet or so I went, there'd be this loud crash, and I'd hear, 'Hey, J.R., how you doing, God bless you, young lad!' And then there'd be another crash."

Later, during a flight between Ireland and the U.S., Hagman was approached by a friendly gentleman with an Irish brogue.

"Mr. Hagman, sir, God bless you," the gentleman said.

"Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you," Hagman replied.

'I'm general manager for Waterford," the gentleman continued, "and, well, we'd be very happy indeed if you never came back again. It cost us $250,000 the last time you visited us. The workers dropped $250,000 worth of glassware and some very nice trophies that we were preparing that are very hard to do."

Hagman began to apologize but the Irish gentleman wasn't done.

"I'll make a deal with you," he told Hagman. "If you never come back, we'll give you factory prices for the rest of your life."

"We took him up on it, believe me," Hagman told me. "Of course, he's no longer general manager."

Bill Whitaker, who will likely never get to buy Waterford crystal, at factory prices or any other, can be reached at 676-6732. E-mail: WTWARN@aol.com.