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Friday, August 29, 1997

Michael Irvin gains new inspiration from memories of Cowboys' final 1996 loss

By Josie Karp

Knight-Ridder Newspapers

(KRT)

AUSTIN, Texas - Fear, Michael Irvin says, keeps him up at night. Fear of not accomplishing goals. Fear of failure. It gnaws and grates, eases sometimes, but never disappears.

When the Cowboys receiver was deciding whether to play football or retire, and it was late at night and he could not sleep, many images crossed his mind. But one kept reappearing.

He is sitting in the locker room at Ericsson Stadium in Charlotte, N.C. The Cowboys have just lost a playoff game to the Carolina Panthers, a game Irvin left after two plays because he injured his right shoulder.

He is not the only one, but he is crying.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones walks by. Irvin grabs him, gathers himself and says, "I'll make it right. I'll make it right."

That sentence, those four words, stayed with Irvin all off-season.

"It's not that I'm being selfish and saying that I can do it all, because I know that that's impossible," Irvin said, "but all I can do is make sure I give it all I've got on the football field."

A year after his suspension-shortened season, and only a few weeks after deciding he still wants to play football, Irvin said he started to feel like himself. On the last Monday of the team's training camp at St. Edward's University in Austin, he talked a little louder. He made more jokes. He had fun.

Irvin said he told receivers coach Hubbard Alexander after returning from the Cowboys' preseason game against the New England Patriots that he was ready to "turn it up" in practice.

The game seemed to inspire that feeling.

After two series without much success, the first-team offense retreated to the sideline. Irvin said he wanted to play more. He did not want to hold back any longer. But he was forced to because of the situation. Preseason is not the time to take risks motivated by perfection.

Quarterback Troy Aikman told him as much.

"He said, 'No, let's just do what we said we were going to do,' " Irvin said. ' "We've got plenty of time.' "

Plenty of time.

Last year, the opposite was true. Irvin's own faults meant there was not enough time, not last season.

The Cowboys lost their chance to go to the Super Bowl last season when they lost home-field advantage in the playoffs. And they lost that, says coach Barry Switzer, when they went 2-3 to start the season while Irvin was serving his five-game suspension for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy.

So this season is, in part, about paying a debt, Irvin said.

"I owe them anyway, even if I was there," Irvin said. "Every time I step on the football field, I owe them. Every time they (teammates) step out on the football field, they owe themselves and each other."

Irvin does not want to forget what happened last season on the football field, especially against the Panthers. He wants to use it.

"Was I disappointed with the ending last year? The way it ended the same way it started, without me on the football field? Yes, I was," Irvin said. "And I felt at that time I let them down, even though it was something beyond my control.

"Did I have to live with it all off-season? Yeah. Was it tough? Damn tough . . . It's a hell of a feeling. But it came to a good thing. If I felt it last year, and then I don't want to feel it again; it's a good thing."

Some good things have happened for Irvin off the field this this preseason. During training camp, he signed a hat endorsement deal with Logo Athletic that Aikman helped him obtain. That Irvin was able to get an endorsement deal might be a sign that Irvin's public image might be getting better. That Aikman helped might be a better sign.

Logo Athletic spokesman Eddie White said the company considered Irvin at Aikman's request. And, White said, they took into account Irvin's no-contest plea to felony drug possession charges, and decided in the end his marketing potential outweighed his past mistakes.

"Michael Irvin is a football player," White said. "He's not curing cancer. He's a football player and he's on a team that gains tremendous exposure. Right now, we're giving him a second chance."

Before Logo Athletic could do it, Irvin had to.

He insists the retirement talk was real and that, even when he stepped on the field in Austin, his passion to play was not immediately rekindled.

Alexander disagrees.

"I've known Michael for a long time," Alexander said. "I didn't see any dropoff. I know Michael Irvin. When he gets out on the football field he competes like nobody else I've ever seen. He's going to do what he's supposed to do. I haven't seen any difference."

The difference from this year to last is the timing. It is the end of August. At this time last year, Irvin was heading home. This year, he can stay.

"Michael is ready to play," Switzer said. "He says they're waiting on him. He says he's not going to disappoint them. He's talking about America. The public. They want to see Michael perform. He's coming."

(c) 1997, Fort Worth Star-Telegram

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