Thursday, December 25, 1997

Avoiding a 'blue, blue' Christmas

By WILLIAM R. MATTOX JR. / For Scripps Howard News Service

Here's a depressing thought for mamas who don't want their babies to grow up to be cowboys.

A recent study of employment trends among "doctors and lawyers and such" shows that one "such" job that is growing exponentially is the job of "Elvis impersonator." That's right.

At the time of Elvis Presley's death in 1977, there were only 37 known Elvis impersonators in the entire world. By 1995, that number had grown to approximately 48,000.

And according to one estimate, if this rate of growth continues, one in seven Americans will be an Elvis impersonator by 2010.

Not surprisingly, this one-in-seven projection has my wife quite concerned.

We currently head a household of six -- and one of our young boys loves to sing, play the guitar, and wear suede shoes.

(Thankfully, his are brown, not blue.) Nevertheless, my wife believes our son is "at risk."

But the way I figure it, our family has probably already met its "Elvis impersonator quota" since I once pretended to be the King at a holiday party several years ago (I just lay motionless on the floor as if I were in a coffin) and since I sing along to "Blue Christmas" every year when my family plays its favorite holiday-music-to-decorate-by.

(My wife does a mean job with the "wahuwahuwa" refrain of Elvis' back-up singers, by the way.)

Sadly (and here's where this article finally turns serious), many households do not know the joys of decorating together to the sounds of Elvis or Bing or Peggy Lee.

In many households, if the stocking gets hung at all, it may as well be hung to "The Sounds of Silence" or some other lonely tune. Indeed, for all its merriment and gaiety, the Christmas season can be a real downer for people who are "Home Alone" -- or who feel all alone -- during the holidays.

In fact, psychiatrists say that the holiday season is the busiest time of year for counselors.

And the National Institute for Healthcare Research reports depression and suicide tend to rise during the holidays -- especially among those who have experienced some sort of loss during the previous year (death of a loved one, marital separation or divorce, etc.).

There is a certain irony in all of this, given that St. Luke says the first Christmas was ushered in with "glad tidings of great joy" and given that the Christmas season today is easily the most festive time of year in America.

Yet, if a wise old woman named Katherine Noell were still alive today, she would tell us that at least some holiday loneliness and despair can be avoided.

Mrs. Noell would no doubt encourage those who live alone -- as she did for many years in Washington, D.C., after the death of her husband -- to reach out and befriend others living nearby.

Indeed, had she not taken an interest in a young neighbor girl some 16 winters ago (and discouraged That Girl away from going out with some smooth-talking Donald-Hollinger-wannabe), I might not have had the opportunity to win over the girl who became my wife.

And were she still alive, Mrs. Noell would probably encourage those of us who have a household full of children to open our homes to those uninspired by the thought of eating Stouffer's Holiday-Dinner-for-One.

Indeed, some of our family's most memorable holiday feasts have been spent listening to Mrs. Noell and other elderly neighbors wax nostalgic about their favorite Christmases of yore. But most of all, were she still with us, Mrs. Noell would no doubt encourage anyone and everyone to link up with a church group like the one that used to come by her Capitol Hill townhouse every December to sing -- what else? -- "The First Noel."

She'd tell folks that the best way she'd found to cope with loneliness and "the blues" is to draw near to God.

Such advice may sound rather quaint and old-fashioned to some people today, but some recent research suggests it is nothing to be sneezed at.

According to psychologists David Myers of Hope College and Ed Diener of the University of Illinois, people who attend church frequently are less likely to experience depression and more likely to report happiness and life satisfaction than folks who do not attend religious services regularly.

Sociologist Linda K. George of Duke University says that "greater social support" explains only part of the relationship between frequent church attendance and mental health.

In other words, church participation offers something beneficial that is not typically available from a bowling league, a sewing circle, a Rotary Club, or some other group where friendships are forged.

Mrs. Noell would no doubt say that something is "a relationship with God."

Although Mrs. Noell is now in a better place -- the ultimate "Graceland," you might say -- I find myself wishing she were still around to celebrate Christmas with our family.

In her honor we'll have a seventh place setting at our holiday table this year.

And we'll be looking to fill it with someone very much like Mrs. Noell -- someone who is less interested in impersonating the King than in imitating the one St. John called "the King of Kings."